Scariness

In the tradition of blogging about the bizarre things I do, here's a bit of a more in-depth look at House of Torment!

There's two parts to House of Torment, and I work in what I consider to be the cooler part. The actual House of Torment is basically a series of rooms where you walk through and people wearing strange and disturbing costumes (convict clown, anyone?) run up to you and yell "boo" (I mean, it's better than that, but that's the concept). The part I'm in, which is called "Nightmare Mansion," is more of a theatrical show, with characters and a plot (sort of). It's still a traditional haunted house that you walk through while people scare you, but there are various characters ranging from the Doctor himself to "transformations," actors spray painted in white and wearing feathers, horns, etc. who are supposed to be the disgusting and pitiable results of the doctor's experiments. The "haunt" itself is exquisitely done: think any haunted house you've been to, then multiply by about 100. There's a room you walk through on a raised platform while the room itself rocks back and forth, thrusting rotted corpses in your face, the aforementioned claustrophobia tunnel, a room built on about a 30-degree angle that you walk around with the help of handrails, a mirror maze... it's a really amazing construction. Our costumes help too: mine is an old-fashioned nursemaid's uniform, complete with bonnet, that's been ripped, spattered with latex and stones (to simulate vomit/guts) and blood, and generally made into a horrifying thing to look at. And wear, for that matter... it's friggin' hot in there, and the bonnet acts just like a set of blinkers. There's a vomit-spattered child, her twin brother, the transformations with their feathers and white body paint, and my favorite, the "uncle," who wears a diaper and a top hat, both smeared with various unnameable substances. We also wear pretty terrifying make-up. Most of the other actors use on their faces and bodies the same mixture of latex and stones spattered with theatrical blood that is used on the costumes, this time to simulate rotting wounds. My make-up is your typical creepy old-lady get-up, and I'm getting pretty good at putting it on myself. Some of us also wear contacts, the kind that make your eyes all weird. The best belong to Fiona, who's the director of Nightmare Mansion: she has these huge black ones that make her look like she has insect eyes. I wear one white contact over the contacts I use to see, both as a creepy fashion statement and because I lost the other one the second day I had them.

And after all that, all that's lacking are the people, and boy do they not lack on the weekends. We get thousands on a busy night, all looking for a good scare, some drunk or high on various substances, most just scared out of their brains. It's great fun, everyone seems to enjoy it, and overall it's one of the most exhausting and interesting jobs I've ever had. Muahahahahaha......